Financial Planning Focus – The Call to Care—What are Your Wishes?

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal really hit home that I need to have a tough conversation with my family. The article was “The Call to Care for Aging Parents Comes Sooner Now,” by Clare Ansberry, updated August 6, 2018. 

The article begins, “Adrienne Glusman was 29, single and carefree when she became her mother’s caregiver.” She gave up her career and moved from New York to Florida to care for her mother for eight years. She manages her mother’s finances and takes care of all aspects of her medical needs. She also somehow manages to find time to get some work done, because she still needs to support herself. For the most part, she has put her personal life on hold.

Adrienne was thrust into a caregiver role with little, if any, time to prepare financially or emotionally. How different might Adrienne’s life have been, had her mother taken the time to discuss and plan her end of life wishes with her daughter? 

Statistics indicate that, because of our aging population, we will suffer from a shortage of caregivers and the age of those providing care will be younger. In 2014, Millennials (ages 18 to 34) made up 24 percent of the nation’s unpaid caregivers, second only to caregiver ages 50 to 64 (34 percent). In addition, between 2015 and 2050, the number of care recipients with Alzheimer’s is expected to increase 160 percent. Statistics such as these only emphasize the need to discuss these issues and plan in advance.

I can’t even begin to imagine how Adrienne’s life has been turned upside down. When my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung and breast cancer, I was about to turn 52. My mother’s diagnosis was the catalyst for our family conversation. While we should have had our conversation much sooner, when there was no crisis, at least we were given some time to discuss her wishes and plan to carry them out.

She died in November, barely more than four months later. I was decades older than Adrienne and had a strong support system around me when I learned of my mother’s diagnosis. My mother had several family members and me close by, ready and willing to step in and help her at a moment’s notice. Even though we all had full-time jobs and families to support, we shared in her care. And, when she died, we made sure she was where she wanted to be and surrounded by her family. It was an emotional four months, but, because we discussed everything that she wanted and needed, it was not as difficult as it could have been. Not everyone is so fortunate.

If or when I need care, I want to know that I have communicated my wishes with my family and planned for such care in advance. If my children are in a position to help with my care, I will embrace it. But, I want them to have a choice.

If this resonates with you, and you want your wishes to be realized, consider taking the following steps:

• Execute or update your estate documents to include an advance medical directive and power of attorney.
• Make sure to communicate your wishes to your family and loved ones and your agent under your power of attorney and make sure that he/she agrees to assume the responsibility.
• Organize and simplify, to the extent possible, your finances.
• Build flexibility into your plan, because circumstances often change.
• Think about where you want to spend your final days - at home or in another setting.
• Consider drafting a precatory letter expressing your love and wishes to your family to accompany your estate documents.

Adrienne’s story and my experience with my own mother have inspired me to begin my conversation. If you would like to learn more about how we can help you begin this conversation and prepare a plan, please reach out to your relationship manager here at West Financial Services.

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* Any conclusions presented or hypotheticals presented are based upon facts derived from publicly available information, and are also based on certain assumptions, including that there are no additional changes to current law, and that demographic information regarding retirement accounts also remains unchanged. Further, hypothetical scenarios presented are solely presented for the purposes of demonstrating available retirement options, and do not include any information, analysis, or conclusions regarding other areas of an individual’s financial future.

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*Some information in this presentation is gleaned from third party sources, and while believed to be reliable, is not independently verified.